dorkfysh's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- the return I haven't written over here in so long...I'm surprised I was able to revive the damn thing. I think I write too much drivel in my other place online so maybe I can hold back less over here. Who knows? What I really need is fucking therapy. Everything about my existence is a Catch-22. It's like living inside a Twilight Zone episode. If something looks like it might start moving in my direction and life starts treating me well...something needs to happen to knock me on my ass and show me my place. I walk around flinching all the time. I am supposed to be telling myself how awesome and amazing all the time, but the little voices in my head saying "You asshole, the only one you might convince is yourself" overpower me and make me want to take to my bad and lay the back of my hand over my eyes. Those bastard head voices really need to move on and find another life to destroy. The reality is that things aren't going so bad. I have a job that I like and will continue to give me raises and promotions as long as I want them. Soon I will be buying a house which is a big ball of terror/excitement. I've been making all sorts of fascinating new friends and I've gone out on a few not too painful dates. I'm close to convincing my best friend to move across country and be near me so I can love on him always. I've also lost a good amount of weight in the past year without even trying. My kid is growing into an amazing young woman and she's seems remarkably happy and well-adjusted for a 13 year old. Count my blessings count my blessings. I think I will come back and use this place to tell myself how awesome I am. 9:42 a.m. - July 31, 2006 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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