dorkfysh's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- empty I don't like the summer and the heat and the too many days of sunshine in a row. I keep hoping I'll wake up and smell the rain again. They have cut down the tree that was outside my window and now there is no protection from the wind and the heat. They said it was because the kids wouldn't stop climbing it. Now it's all stark and bare and it makes me feel sad. I want to move so badly. I need a porch and some trees and neighbors that don't make me feel like hiding. The other night there was repeated slamming downstairs. Yelling. Slamming. Yelling. Slamming. It's become their particular little song. Suddenly there is a knocking at the door and the jittery lady from downstairs reaches through the crack in the door to touch my shoulder. She apologizes for the noise and touches me again. I tell her it's ok and shut the door as quickly as possible. I'm sure she's lonely down there with her little boy and her little niece. I'm sure she lets him come back because she is aching for some kind of contact. I understand, but not really. I know I'm always talking endlessly about being lonely, but I would never tolerate someone treating me like I'm nothing. I would rather be alone in the dark and feel like nothing on my own. 8:04 a.m. - June 05, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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