dorkfysh's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- gonna make it different somehow When I was teenager my mom was never around. She worked crazy hours and at night she usually went out to drunken dinners at the steakhouses with the stepbeast and his stupid drunken friends while I sat up and watched out the window, convinced they would crash into a tree on the way home. I was always expected to come straight home after school on the bus and clean the house. Every day. I was stuck out in the country with the dog and the horses and the satellite tv. I would go for long solo rides on my horse with my dog Max trailing behind then would go home and make myself dinner that I would eat while sitting alone on the couch. Most of the time they didn't come home until after I had gone to bed and I would leave for school before they got up in the morning. Sometimes I would try to go to my mom's salon after school so I could talk to her, but she was always to busy and would put me to work or would make me let her cut my hair in some fashion that I didn't even like. She thought taking me shopping for clothes was a bonding experience, but I have always hated trying on clothes and she would force me to try on everything in the store and would make me buy things I would never be caught dead in. There were these rare moments where we would actually talk and she would make an attempt to understand what was going on in my head. They usually happened after an ugly argument with the stepbeast or something. Mostly the conversations were about the chores that I needed to do and how life is about hard work and having fun and being happy is beside the point. I never want my child to feel as isolated and misunderstood as I did. Never ever. 10:42 a.m. - June 26, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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