dorkfysh's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- fret I feel tremendous guilt over the shopping spree I took myself on the other day. I just went and tried piles of things on and bought whatever looked good on me. New bras that make my boobs look better than they have in years. New red shoes that make me smile when I look at them. I was going to return everything on Saturday. I looked at the pile of stuff I bought and had a terrible sinking feeling. I guess I needed this stuff. The underwear in particular, but the rest seemed so frivolous and I am ashamed of how good it felt to go out and feel like I looked marginally attractive for once. I went to meet up with a friend at a club I never would have entered in a million years if he hadn't invited me. I stood and looked at my red face in the walls of the mirrored bathroom for a long time. A hipster couple looked directly into my face and whispered about me while I was watching my friend choose the records he was going to play. I felt out of place and terribly obvious. I'm more comfortable being invisible. 7:52 p.m. - August 18, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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